Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – July 28, 2004

Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – July 28, 2004

On Being Happy

Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – July 28, 2004 – We humans think we have a divine right to be happy. We’re somehow entitled to perpetual sunshine, nonstop beaming smiles, everlasting good times and lives filled with joy, love, sharing, kindness and camaraderie. I’m certainly not opposed to all these fine things.

What a pleasure it would be to think of a world without cruelty, greed, meanness, injustice and intolerance. However, mankind is in his infancy – we haven’t even scratched the surface. What a long way we have to go before people the world over have “the good life”. But for those of us living in the most privileged nations on earth – happiness should be a given – but it’s not!

Most of us don’t go to bed hungry. We’re not too hot or too cold. We have clothes to wear, shoes on our feet, a roof over our heads. We drive cars or have access to safe public transit. For most there is a social net during times of despair. There are jobs that could be done, public education, housing assistance, unemployment insurance and welfare aid for those in dire need. Many people enjoy company or government pensions and the ability to save money for their future retirement years.

It’s a given that people will go through difficult times. No one is immune from loss and sorrow, but with all the good things available to us – why are so many of us, in the most privileged nations in the world, so unhappy with our families, our homes, our relationships , our spouses, our bodies, our friends, our careers and our lives?

Negativity is pervasive, complaining is a global pass time, depression affects millions of people, greed is endemic in nations, the pursuit of power at any cost is common place, the great god “money” is worshipped everywhere, rudeness has become an accepted way of interacting with others, “me first” is a personal anthem, “screw you” is a suitable response to another person and violence, cruelty and abuse have become normal – we hardly notice anymore. This is a sad state of affairs.

I was thinking about this as I sat having lunch with my friend Vivien today. We shared stories of our unfair and dishonest treatment at the hands of others. Neither of us was filled with bitterness, rather we were attempting to understand the situations and then leave them behind. Neither of us had any control over these circumstances or the other people involved. I’d been feeling a bit tired and blue this morning and had actually thought about calling Viv to re-book our lunch.

I’m glad I decided to go ahead because it was good to get up and shower, dress and get out into the world. The sun was shining and it was a clear, warm day. What a travesty to stay rooted in the negative. I think it may have been Abraham Lincoln (or some other well known person) who said, “Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be”. The astuteness of that simple statement is remarkable. Happiness is indeed a choice.

When I wake up in the morning – my first thought is always “oh no”, when it should be “oh yes”. The negative sends out its intrusive tentacles to seep into my thinking and secure a foothold. It’s time for me to put up a wall, made of bricks, each stamped with the words that define my life – positive, fortunate, grateful, healthy, abundance, free, strong, kindness, prosperous, funny, goodness, honesty, loyalty, family, friends, generosity, love and opportunity. I have many reasons to be happy and a dearth of rationales to support my often-present, dejected moods.

True happiness comes from within. From the heart and soul and from self-love, self-acceptance and an innate belief in one’s good fortune. It is not external. It doesn’t come from more things, more toys, a bigger house, a faster car or a more attractive partner. All these things may enhance a life but they don’t make it happy.

A soft, gentle forgiving heart – a contented soul and a balanced life will go a long way towards creating personal happiness. It’s crucial to remind myself of this on a regular basis. I need a daily mantra that prompts me to open my eyes, and regardless of things that are provoking me, say “Thank you – today I’m going to choose happiness”.