Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – August 23, 2004

 Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – August 23, 2004

Dizzying Expectations

Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – August 23, 2004 – It’s only Day 3 and already I’m looking for results. I am completely unreasonable. I’ve given myself a year to attain a new weight and level of fitness and I’d like to see a difference in the proverbial “Mirror, Mirror on the wall”. It’s not much wonder my past attempts to defeat my chicken tummy and jiggly thighs have failed – fat doesn’t surrender it’s hold on a comfortable middle-aged babe very easily.

Even God took a week to create the earth and everything on it before he had a nap, and I don’t know a single goddess who does everything on her To Do List each day!

I’m an idiot! I find it fascinating that I could actually want or expect to see a difference in my body and attitude instantly. However, I guess that’s just part of my charm. I have noticed a few things and given this short length of time they are encouraging. Over the last two days I’ve recorded my food intake and I’ve eaten less than I normally would because of it.

I’m cutting narrower pieces of bread for my toast, only putting peanut butter on one piece instead of two, drinking more water, refraining from second helpings (this is hard when the food is wonderful), not eating after eight-thirty and refraining from coffee or tea after seven in the evening.

I’m aware of wanting to eat even when I know my body doesn’t need food. I simply want to munch on something. I know I graze on goodies out of habit, I crave chocolate and go to the kitchen to look in the fridge an hour after a meal, then grab two or three grapes before I shut the door. I also hear the ever-present Blabber telling me I’m too tired to exercise or that I can skip today and do it tomorrow.

On days 1 and 2, I did fifty minutes of really brisk walking, so today I just did some light upper body weights. I’m not going to set myself up for failure by planning to exercise every day. Some days will end up being “something” small or short-lived like a twenty minute Pilates routine and that is absolutely fine. I don’t have a wall chart, daily plan, clip board of exercises, picture of a fabulous babe on my wall for inspiration or negative “don’t eat messages on my fridge.

I repeat – “I am not on a diet” and I have no plans to buy the South Beach Diet book or any other eating plan. I am altering the way I live. My motivation is a recognition that the quality of my entire life is equal to the quality of my health. Without it – money, love, travel, things, weekends away, friends and family can not be enjoyed. Health is everything.

I can see very clearly how I’ve set myself up so many times in the past with rigid plans, my famous three ring binders, impossible demands and expectations that would choke King Kong before he had time to utter a roar. This time I’m changing the way I eat, sleep, exercise, work and use my time. It’s a life transition so I can enjoy the gift of my good health in the future. I don’t think this will be easy to do or to sustain.

I’m not going to cave in if I slip up – I’m sure I will. This decision is similar to the one I made to write and as August fades away, I’m still plugging away on my 367 Little Stories every day. I should make it clear that I really don’t want to do this, but I need to protect my present and future health. I have no burning desire to lose weight and my “buff” days may be over. I’d rather eat what I want to when I want – sleep late and never have to work again.

I’m not highly motivated and excited about the prospect of Tiger Living – but I do know that living as a chicken has eroded my spirit and the happiness in my soul. It’s making me feel old before my time in both attitude and appearance. I’m in charge here – this is my life – and I can do something about it. It is within my power to change. I can visualize the outcome and I have the will to make it happen. What a woman!