Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – October 20, 2004

Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – October 20, 2004

Lunch With Jackie

Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – October 20, 2004 – I had lunch with my friend Jackie today. She of the west end home, the husband, four children and a small landscaping business. We’ve been friends for eighteen years, more or less, and met when we were both unwitting captives, I mean employees, in the same multi-national computer company.

We shared then, and still do today, a similar sense of humour, frustration with stupidity, appreciation for hard work and a curiosity about the meaning of “life”. We have always enjoyed engaging in long, philosophical talks about why injustice is so prevalent in the world, how fortunate we are to live in Canada, why we don’t appreciate our blessings more, what we can do to change, how we deal with all manner of emotional issues, her children, our shared states of “anxiety”, men, friends, interests, money, weight, getting older, sex, supporting friends in times of need, parents, death and general fears, to name a few of the things we might cover in a typical three hour lunch.

We always meet at the same place – Mitzi’s on Pearson Avenue in Roncesvalles Village. It’s a crowded, corner store front café with great food, and staff minus attitude, with a second cup of coffee always at the ready. You have to pay with cash – credit cards are not accepted. Today, Jackie and I both had the omelette stuffed with brie, pears and pecans. Unusual – delicious!

We covered the usual “family” stuff and then settled in for a conversation about “limitations”, how we perceive ourselves and how damned essential it is to try and live outside the “box” that society wants us to fit into, the tapes that run in our heads and the fact that we’re both pessimists. Well, that isn’t quite true. I’ve already admitted to being an optimistic pessimist, but I’m probably in denial. Jackie is an avowed pessimist. But we’re both trying to change.

Jackie had a good point. I can’t quite remember what it was but I know it was a zinger. Okay, I recall what it was now. It’s easy to say – hard to do, and that’s the notion of stopping a negative stream of thoughts by saying “enough “. If most of us became conscious of the thoughts in our heads, we’d be astonished at their negativity and appalled by their potency. Becoming “conscious” is one of the hardest things to do in life, and one of the most important.

I really needed a pick-me-up today. A good dose of conscious living. It was one of those despicable, down days that have a way of stealing up on me and whacking me right between the eyes. I had meetings with clients both before and after I met Jackie for lunch, so I needed to have my “game face” in place most of the day. It was nice to have some respite over lunch when I could just let my guard down and chat with Jackie. We covered a lot of ground and it’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only person struggling with life.

I do think that I spend way too much time being analytical. If I had to get up before dawn and walk five miles for water, or milk the cows before I went out to plough the fields I wouldn’t have so much time to fret over my life. I do realize that everything is relative and while I’m not lacking in creature comforts, I am challenged by shadows that have a dark presence, and project an air of pessimism over my thoughts. I think I’d sooner have a broken arm. You may be thinking, “That can be arranged”.

Jackie and I didn’t solve our problems or come up with solutions for the ills of the world, but we did support each other in our individual quests to better understand and appreciate our respective lives. Her life is busy in one way – mine is busy in another – but we do share the desire to become all we’re capable of being – a notion worth pursuing. Jackie is a friend who understands me and accepts me in spite of my foibles. That’s what friends do for one another.

In spite of the ups and downs we’ve had with each other over the years – my life is still richer because Jackie is part of it. If you have ten minutes to spare today, call a friend and tell him or her that you love them. You’ll be better for it and your friend will receive an unexpected, and perhaps much needed gift from your gesture. Think how good you’d feel if you got a call like that. While you’re at it, don’t just call one friend – call three or four.