Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – August 6, 2004

Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – August 6, 2004

In An Instant

Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – August 6, 2004 – I know it’s true that life can change in an instant. The changes can be happy or sad, positive or negative, self-chosen or externally directed. The arbiter of how these changes will affect anyone is oneself.

I’ve had many life changing moments – some of which have been catastrophic and others which have been magnificent. When I think back over my life these are some that stand out:

The deaths of my Mother, Father & then my brother – Michael – killed by a drunk driver.

Going to university.

Recovering from depression.

Moving to Toronto in 1979.

Buying my own home.

Changing careers and changing careers again and again!

Facing panic disorder and anxiety.

Choosing to find humour in “everything”.

Ending or recovering from relationships.

Always having a pet.

Making a commitment to a personal, spiritual journey.

Giving back what I can to others less fortunate.

Choosing last December to write ‘daily’ for a year.

All these things have had an impact on me and my life changed when these events occurred. Probably the most significant choice that I’ve made in recent months and that has transmuted into a deep, inner belief in recent weeks – is the decision to accept myself exactly as I am in the moment – right now.

Not when I’m thinner, partnered, have more money, travel more, have become more successful or any of the other things that I’ve used to define myself. There was a glorious moment when I looked in the mirror and said – “Today is the start of a new way of being – I accept who I am”. I don’t mean for a second that it’s all about me – what I do mean is that I understand:

I have the most to give when I can give to myself first.

I can genuinely love others when I can love myself first.

I can imagine another’s joy and pain when I can first accept my own.

I can have faith in life when I first have faith in myself.

I can accept all that is destined to come into my life when I first believe I deserve the good and can learn from the bad.

I can help others when I first believe I can help myself.

I know my life has purpose when I first believe in myself.

I know I can defeat my fears when I first look them in the eye and say “not today”.

I can navigate life’s waters when I first believe that the Universe won’t send me a wave that’s too big for me to crest.

It’s interesting how life lessons appear. In a song, in a passage from a book or a clip from a film, in a casual remark by a friend, in a memory of a person, place or thing. It’s taken me fifty five years to accept who I am – the good with the bad, my strengths with my weaknesses, my strong points and my flaws.

What a remarkable decision I made when I decided to be content with who I am in the present moment – when I stopped fighting life and instead let it flow to me and when I really understood that I’m where I’m supposed to be right now.

It doesn’t imply for a second that I’ve ceased to learn, change and grow – it does mean that now I’m on my own side – I’m rooting for myself. Anything is possible for me – that realization came in the instant that I embraced myself and gave my soul permission to shine.