Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – July 25, 2004

Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – July 25, 2004

Old Magazines – 2

Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – July 25, 2004 – I have to say, the advertising is absolutely the best part of these old publications. I’ve looked through dozens of them and these are some of the best ads.

Chambers – The Fireless Gas Ranges:

“A woman who spends most of her time it the kitchen is a TIRED woman. Recreation is re-creation. Out-of-door exercise is needed … and a woman can have that recreation only if she has the leisure hours for it. The Chambers Gas Range is the greatest cooking advance in the past forty years – a modern gas range that cooks while you are free”.

　

Listerine:

“More and more employers are insisting that people about them be not only nice, but inoffensive … use Listerine everyday, especially before personal contacts”.

　

Bay State Corset Company:

“Women of Ample Figure – here’s our model No. 575 – overcoming all the weak points common to corsets of the Stout Type”.

　

J.E. Bennett – 483 San Fernando Building, L.A. California:

“Free For Fat Folks – All obese people wishing quick, permanent reductions should write me immediately regarding my liberal free offer to send one full month’s supply of my great new drugless obesity treatment absolutely free”.

　

Colgate:

“In the course of an active day, it is so easy to lose that immaculate freshness which marks the well groomed woman … after the bath, a luxurious shower of fragrant Cashmere Bouquet Talc … you will revel in a new sense of well-being – confident in the charm that comes from perfect daintiness”.

　

P & G The White Naphtha Soap:

“Few things are more important in the dining room ensemble than the aprons your maid wears. P & G takes stains out easily – leaves aprons white, crisp and fresh”.

　

Campbell’s Soups:

“I could sit right here all day, this soup sure is a winner. Campbell’s beats them all I say – breakfast, lunch or dinner. 21 Kinds -12 cents a can!

　

“Geo. P. Way – Artificial Ear Drum Co. (Inc). – Detroit, Michigan:

No Joke To Be Deaf – Every Deaf Person Knows That. I make myself hear after being deaf for 25 years, with these Artificial Ear Drums. I wear them day and night. They are perfectly comfortable. Write me and I will tell you a true story, how I got deaf and how I make you hear”.

　

E. S. Wells, Chemist, Jersey City, N.J.

“Rough On Rats – the secret of killing rats. Rats won’t eat food they know has killed other rats. That’s why ordinary rat poisons fail. Rats remember them from night to night. But Rough On Rats is mixed with other foods, a different food each night. This fools rats. Rough On Rats economically exterminates in three nights. Don’t die in house. Send for free booklet”.

　

Vellastic Underwear – Elastic Ribbed , Fleece Lined:

“You can’t stop Jack Frost from blowing wintry blasts – but you can stop wintry blasts blowing through your underwear. For every member of the family”.

　

Equalizer Kotex – A Devise Which May Look Simple But:

“It took two and one-half years to perfect. A board of three hundred women tested it. Medical authority of high repute checked their findings. And – the Canadian Government granted Patent No. 324,353 to protect it for use of Kotex, exclusively”.

　

Lux For Dishes … Lovely Hands For Less Than 1 Cent A Day:

“I just love being a bride and having a little house of my own to care for! Bur dear knows, I don’t want to look like a drudge. Just a few Lux dish-washings made my hands look as snow-white and satiny as before I was married”.

　

Danderine – Lazy Glands Foul The Scalp:

“If the lazy glands in your scalp are asleep – look out! The consequences won’t end with just dandruff. It may take a year or more for all the pore-filth to reach the surface. Go get a bottle of Danderine today, and start your treatments tonight , and see what happens when lazy glands come back to life”.

　

Gourand’s Oriental Cream:

“Bleaches muddy skins. Dull, ordinary appearances vanish as blemishes and defective features are forgotten under the bewitching beauty instantly rendered. White, Flesh and Rachel Shades”.

　

Singer Sewing Machines:

“There are two kinds of women. Those who now have all the clothes they want and those who have yet to discover how to have them”.

　

Vincent Richards – Popular Tennis Star Writes:

“Immediately before and after my important tennis matches I obtain the greatest possible comfort and satisfaction from Lucky Strikes. A tennis player must guard his throat carefully, and that is why I smoke only Luckies – they are mild and mellow, and cannot possibly irritate your throat and my wind is always in splendid shape”.

　

1900 Cataract Washer – The Perfect Washing Machine:

“Are pretty underthings and dainty soft, little blouses evidence of extravagance? No! It is the careless treatment of them that is extravagant. They should be washed properly – not left to the hard rubbing by careless, indifferent hands”.

The more things change – the more they are the same. Advertisers know human nature and how to manipulate people, through words and images, into thinking they must have the products and services that their clients are producing and promoting. Appeal to the man-woman relationship, to children and their needs, home decor and appliances to make life easier, cars that your friends and family will envy, beauty products that promise eternal youth, education to make you indispensable to your employer, travel to exotic locales, health – food and nutrition , hearth, home and “bingo” you have a best-selling magazine.

People the world over flip through them while waiting for a meeting to commence or a friend to arrive. We spend a couple of hours with one looking to see how our lives stack up against the rest of the world. If that was as far as it went – just a little entertainment – it would be okay, but far too often we end up feeling that we don’t measure up to some marketing “ideal” thought up in a corporate board room.

If you take them for what they are – images of perfection and then get on with your own life – they’re great fun – otherwise beware – you’ll never make the quantum leap from your real life to the glossy pages of today’s air-brushed, computer altered magazine photographs. And who would want to anyway?

Magazine have a way of staying in peoples’ home, as evidenced by my collection from the 1920’s and 1930’s and what a fun way to wile away a lazy afternoon!